6. Unbounded love

When people talk about unbounded and unconditional love, I mostly think of it in the way of giving love in its pure form. It almost never occurred to me in the past that it is a two way street, that receiving/accepting love without conditions is also a pure form of love.

Almost everyone wants to be a giver, because in our our sense, thats the virtuous thing to do, right? Even through periods of misery and discomfort, we find it within ourselves to be there for others.

Over my birth week last week, I realized that actually accepting love in an unbounded and unconditional way is rather tougher. Taking makes me feel narcissistic. But this thought came to me in a sitting — why think of it as taking? Why not phrase it as accepting graciously? If everyone gives and no one receives/accepts, where will the givers get the energy to give more, from?

I’ve been able to work through a lot of trauma (learnt the concept of somatic healing — a blessing!) this year and my deep rooted belief of feeling unworthy of love. I always clenched when someone gave me a compliment, assuming an ulterior motive or just thinking they are obviously blind. It always made me sad when other people (esp my partners) questioned my intentions for doing something nice for them without a grand occasion, without ever realizing that I was doing the same to people trying to show me love! It’s taken me a while to recognize the pattern of how easy it is for us humans to project our insecurities on to others so easily, without ever recognizing that the root cause of the thought may be within ourselves.

Working through this pattern and giving myself the permission to surrender and allow freely, i feel like my heart/anahata just opened up and I was able to accept all the birthday love without any questions. This in return has made my energy to be so much brighter, to share with the world.

Thank you to everyone thats been a giver and thank you to everyone thats accepted the love I give them so deeply ❤