Responses to “How are you?”
Every time I chat with my older relatives in India, aged around 50-60, a simple “How are you?” elicits a unique response. They often reply, “How do you think I’m doing? I’m 60 years old.” I playfully respond with, “Well, I’m out hiking with 60-year-olds (literally climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro with a 64y/o last year). Is that how you’re doing?” My intent isn’t to tease them but to highlight a different way of living. They’re often surprised that one can think beyond household chores and grandchildren at their age (making statements about my extended family here, but it seems pretty common across India).
These exchanges make me think about the origins of such disparate mindsets. It seems that the country we are raised in, how developed it is and the prevailing societal attitudes shape our perspectives significantly.
In the United States (or at least the parts I’ve been to), people really seem to know how to HAVE FUN! Outside of school, they’re usually introduced to nature and outdoor experiences from a very young age. Most people I know can swim, ski, surf, skate etc (I could do none of these until I moved here). They also seem to take gap years or do a short study abroad, to immerse themselves into other cultures.
People are encouraged to revel in experiences that extend beyond the cerebral. The ability to appreciate and seek joy through nature stays with them throughout life, even if they aren’t that financially sound (being in a developed country with access to a decent-ish living helps).
In India, a legacy of colonial history and poverty has left a scarcity mentality. I think people still carry some of the trauma from colonial rule time — personally, one of my grandparent and some of my great grandparent’s children died of infectious diseases. My grandpa died because we were too poor to afford healthcare. To make sure we don’t end up poor like our ancestors, our families are hyper focused on cerebral education that guarantees a job. There’s no wiggle room for “fun” if you spend 10–12 hours of your day either in school or after school tuition.
Many struggle to embrace an abundance mindset, and Maslow’s hierarchy of needs still dictates their outlook. How can you think about going out on a hike when you are still trying to figure out how to pay rent? The struggle is real. But, once they are able to move up the ladder, hopefully there can be someone to remind them they can go out and indulge in activities that make them feel young. They don’t need to be home all day awaiting death.
Now when I go hiking in remote mountains, it really isn’t surprising that I see no brown women (or men) up there. We just aren’t taught to have fun or find joy outside of traditional accomplishments (degree, high salary, kids, family, house, car……). I was introduced to hiking in my late 20s and it absolutely changed my life for the better.
I’m grateful to have experienced a culture that transcended these limitations and helped me embrace a lifestyle rich in the abundance of the heart. About finding joy in simplicity, nature, and the small pleasures of life. And i’m now hoping to induce this child-like wonder in my family and beyond :)
