9. Flow vs Form
This week, I moved into an Airbnb where I’ll stay for 10 days. Will move into another one in NYC for 15 days after this. Another one for 30 days post that. Then I’ll be in Africa/Europe for 2 months where I might not really stay in the same place for more than 2 nights in a row. Gotta come back and find a house in NYC in the fall (hmu if you have leads)
While it feels a bit unsettling to not have a home base, I feel like my life’s journey has prepared me for this.
Growing up, we moved houses every year. Sometimes twice (same reason I went to 10 schools). As a kid, that sucked, cuz it meant I had to make new friends every time we moved. I didn’t understand why the universe didn’t like me. I never felt favored.
But today, when I ground myself in GRATITUDE and think about the lessons I learned through those years, I see very many shiny silver linings :)
>Packing up in a jiffy and fully uprooting my life for a new place doesn’t feel daunting. I hype up myself and others about the next place.
>I’m able to let go of things without feeling the urge to hold on — I’m not attached. We didn’t really save much/anything from my childhood — but I remember the things that were dear to me. I don’t feel the need (or have the option) to hold them physically.
>I don’t need a lot of things. I didn’t choose to be a minimalist — we just couldn’t afford things in my childhood. As an adult that can afford things, it’s easy for me to stay a minimalist because I know so deeply that external things don’t bring me happiness or the sense of belonging.
> But I also have compassion for people that want things. When you don’t have a lot, scarcity mentality is easy to develop. When offered, just grab whatever you can. (I’ll tell you about my relationship with food, at some point). Until about 8 years ago, I was embarrassed to invite my friends over because we didn’t have a piece of furniture they could sit on. My first goal when I started making money was to buy things for the house. I couldn’t be fazed. I understand the need for things, they give you a (false) sense of security. But only after having accumulated things, I realized that the happiness only lasts for a short time.
>I wear the same set of clothes everywhere (or borrow from friends unless I really need to buy something) and feel pretty confident in my skin, without needing to explain myself. It took me a while to get here, but I was able to fully reflect on this when I moved to SF 2 years ago with a suitcase and haven’t accumulated that many things that I didn’t need (will leave here with 2 suitcases).
>I’m a master packer of luggage and organizer of house. I’ve proactively helped friends pack for trips (there’s a picture of me rudely asking a friend if he really needs another sweater for a 2 week trip, haha) and move houses. Yes, clothes should be rolled vs folded.
>I fully realize that my happiness cannot depend on a place. Change is constant. It will only come from within me, so I am my home. I knew this in theory, but have been able to practice it only recently.
I always thought I was preferred ‘form’ because I naturally lean into structure and order. I’ve been consciously trying to flow a bit more. But today made me realize I’ve been in flow all my life :)
